Upon extensive questioning Detective Shenanigans was able to obtain the following confessions from the suspects:
1. Nadia Large – Sniffles… I was on the patio at the time Al passed away. (Cries loudly) I was speaking with Desire about how she was invited to the party. Al’s silly games… I just can’t believe all of this is happening. I am still in shock.
2. Joey Sadstone – My line of work is laughter, not murder! I hadn’t even had a chance to meet Mr. Large. I swear! I get no courtesy. I was busy trying to figure out who all these darn people were on the question game. When Al died, I was asking Slappy Smallfeet who his biggest enemy was.
3. Slappy Smallfeet – (Honks bicycle horn.) This is certainly not funny. Al was a very loyal patron of mine. He loved my water out of the camera bit and promised to take care of me in my forced retirement. He was an amazing man. I am going to miss him. Al was always so generous…especially with the ladies.
4. Julie “Nickeltown” Sullivan – Al and I weren’t really friends, more like bus’ness associates. But, Al was a decent kinda’ guy. Not very good at cards, but what do you expect from a man who has been handed everything in his life? I’d never kill Al… Something about killin’ a golden goose don’t sound right to me. Plus he owed me money. I wouldn’t kill him before I collected.
5. Kay Board – Mr. Large’s death is so sudden. If I had known he was going to pass like this, I would have made sure to interview him earlier. Well, it couldn’t have been me. I was busy…conferring with a colleague at the time of his death.
6. Lenny Lafinstok – Al was a good man and a great political contributor. He is largely responsible for my current office. Of course Al and I had our differences of opinion, but who didn’t with Al. Just because Al and I didn’t agree about taxes doesn’t mean he was a bad guy. I just think that to those that are given much, much is expected of them. I was talking to that young starlet at my table when Al was killed.
7. Roland Pins – This whole thing is so unexpected. At this point, the only thing I am sure of is that the killer isn’t me. I was in the bathroom sewing a button on my shirt when Al was murdered. When I heard the shrieks coming from down the hall, I came running. I didn’t even get to finish the work on my button. This party has turned out a lot worse than expected.
8. Joey Graco - I have seen a lot of things in my day, but never something like this. This whole episode is a travesty and me without a video camera and crew…what a shame. Anyway, it certainly wasn’t me because I was with that nice young reporter. We were drinking martinis and discussing the news biz. Has anyone seen my wedding ring? Well, I guess I don’t need that anymore.
9. Desire Fame - (Crying loudly) This whole night has been ruined…absolutely ruined. I can’t believe my first time to the Masquerade and this happens. (sobs) I hardly got to meet anyone. I was stuck at the stupid table all night answering silly questions. What is the price of fame??? Apparently it is dealing with idiots.
10. Mark Hall -
Al was a good man, so full of life.
He left not an heir, but his dear wife.
Attractive and sweet, she made a good mate.
Wealthy and tender, not too old to date.
Although I am clear, of this deed most foul.
Great things have been lost, and vengeance will howl.
Familiar with loss, proficient am I.
Life comes at you fast, wedding the wrong guy.
Plus I was drinkin’ at the bar and watching those crazy reporters go at it under the table when they whacked Al. So I couldna’ done it.
NOTE: In a live Murder Mystery Machine mystery, guests present their scripted character alibis to fellow mystery participants.
